I recently bought a bright white shirt. I normally stay away from this color. I am far too accident prone to wear such an unforgiving color. But there was something about the stark white and denim lined collar and sleeves that drew me in. Not to mention it was on sale. I wore it for the first time yesterday.

I had finally made it through the week, logged off work. My husband was working late, so I had the house all to myself. I poured a glass of red wine and indulged in my favorite past time, an episode of “The Office”. I remember thinking as I was relaxing and sipping wine, “this is not a good idea Jackie, you are wearing white.”  But I assured myself that I would be careful and it would be fine. And I was careful and it was fine… until it wasn’t. I ignored my cautionary inside voice and began walking around the house with my wine in hand. That is when it happened….. a DRIBBLE of red wine against my starkly white brand new shirt. (did I mention it was brand new?). I quickly went to the bathroom and stripped off the shirt. I started to try and erase my mistake. I put stain spray on it — I gently massaged it, added water.  Just think of how much time I would have saved if I had just listened to myself to begin with? I was pleased with my progress as I saw NO stain. WOW. Will I be the one person in history to fully erase red wine from a white shirt?  To the naked eye the stain was gone. But as I held it up to the light, the shadow of wine was still present. I put more stain cleaner on it and set it aside overnight.

As a mama who walked the infertility journey, I can relate to feeling like I am walking around with a giant red wine stain. My casual relationships do not see my stain, they see only a bright white shirt. However my stain QUICKLY becomes obvious because I have no kiddos. Our fertility journey ended with all my babies in heaven.  There is no amount of Spray N Wash that can cover that up. So instead of trying hide my stain, I embrace it. You know what happens when I find the courage to share my stain with others? They share their stains with me! We are all connected, and we all have stains!

Mamas I encourage your to embrace your stain. You may feel alone, like no one else understands, but that is simply not true. Be proud of the stain and allow others to learn and grow from your journey. There is healing in sharing your stain. 

As for my new shirt stain… Its fate now lies in the washer with my ALL Detergent and Oxy Clean. Swish, swish it goes.