I recently started a Bible study. The very first session we were asked WHY is it tough being a woman? I had never been asked this question, and did not think it was tough being a woman. 

After further pondering the question further, it hit me like a ton of bricks, and the tears started flowing….

Right out of college, I started working a tough job in a tough industry. It is a rewarding profession, but as I mentioned, it is TOUGH! The first company I worked for was wonderful, like a second family. One of the greatest benefits of this wonderful company was the sick leave, more specifically, the maternity leave. It was the Cadillac of all their benefits. It meant months of paid time off when I had a baby. The more tenure, the more time off.  When we decided to start a family, I was set!

Hubby and I decided it was time to start the American dream, bring on the babies and white picket fence! Neither of us expected the long heart breaking fertility journey that waited for us. But one thing that got me through the stress of every day was I knew that I was going to be a mom, and I was going to get that Cadillac maternity leave. I hadn’t yet decided if I would work full-time, part-time or just be a mama. However, knowing that I had that choice, and that it was just around the corner, really kept me going.

Three long hard years followed. At the end of it all, we were left with empty arms, broken dreams, and 13 babies waiting for us in Heaven.   As my heart crumbled, I was grateful for my tough job and the distraction it offered.

Fast-forward to present day — and the question of “its tough being a woman….. WHY?”  What hit me like a ton of bricks and made tears flow?…..

In my haste to heal, I never realized I was robbed of my mama work decision. The decision of whether I would be a full time stay at home mom, or work? THAT decision was no longer mine to make. I had to work. I had to continue to do this tough job, (and now with only retirement to look forward to).

Years later, after my scars had started to heal, I didn’t even know I was still carrying that hurt. That one, single, question helped me to recognize the hidden hurt I carried. I was able cry over that hurt, and then give it to God. If you don’t realize you are carrying a hurt then how can you be released from it? 

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.” 

NLT I Peter 5:7

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