My husband and I have a fun tradition. We will have a random ingredient and we take turns finding a meal that incorporates said random ingredient into dinner.  My husband is the gifted cook in this family, so we never (I mean never….) have any faux pas when it is his turn. 

Well tonight was my night! My special ingredient was …… drumroll please…. Cauliflower!  My kryptonite is potato anything- so if I can puree a solid, that is always my first choice. I was going to make garlic cauliflower puree. Served with garlic shrimp: is anyone hungry yet?  

I found an Internet recipe and I was let loose in the kitchen. Have you guys noticed these Internet recipes are quite annoying? They have a full story attached to them… and don’t get me started on all the ads sprinkled throughout.  Enough already, just tell me the ingredients and steps!! I skipped through 90% of this recipe. I found the ingredients and just went rogue.  It called for a medium cauliflower, which apparently is 2 pounds. Why bother weighing it? I can trust my eyes, right? This was my first mistake.  As I would find out, quite PAINFULLY, the cauliflower was not two pounds.  The recipe also called for SEVEN cloves of garlic. That did seem like a lot, but I like garlic so I didn’t really give it much thought.  Remember when I said I skimmed the recipe because it was long and contained a lot of irrelevant information? Well, as I found out later, I skipped the part where the garlic needed to be cooked. Mistake number two.

(The mama cooks out there reading this message are currently cringing!)

So I finish boiling the cauliflower, which has an amazing aroma in and of itself!! Then I add the butter, cauliflower, and RAW garlic into the mixer. Yep, I tried the mixer even though the recipe said food processor, I thought I could make it work, I couldn’t. What mistake are we at now? This must be number 3.

My countless my faus pax  aside, dinner had come together. The shrimp were cooked and the puree was smooth and ready! ONE BITE and instantly we knew something was horribly wrong. It BURNED going down my throat, and tasted like poison. What did I do wrong? There were only 3 ingredients?!?! Turns out mamas, there is such a thing as too much garlic!! And there is especially something wrong with too much RAW garlic. The dinner was not salvageable. 

What about you mamas? What is you ‘too much’ in your fertility battle?… What has your grief journey brought you? What do you need to put boundaries around so it does not become ‘too much’? 

For me, the ‘too much’ I was the most scared of was PITY.  So anytime I wanted to feel sorry for myself, I would put a time limit on it. I get a 24-hour pity party and then I move on.  I did this because I know how destructive pity can be. I knew if I went down the ‘why me” trail I would get too comfortable and spiral. I didn’t want to waste time playing the victim.  I had important ice baby legacy work to accomplish. I was going to make the brief lives of all my babies matter right here, right now.  

Mamas guard your ‘too much’. Keep it in bounds even when you want to let it free. Hold tight! God has a plan in the midst of the pain.