I never knew I was artistic, and I seldom spent any time being creative; just ask  my husband about my scrapbooking!  I must give all the credit to my late grandma, who was the undiscovered artist of our family.  One of my favorite types of crafting is to mosaic. To turn an ordinary item into a whole new creation, allows me to feel close to MY Creator.  God formed man from dust, and woman from rib bone, and I can bring new life to any old object.  (Well, when you compare those creations side by side, mine sounds pretty lame!)

I am the type of pupil that goes to class already knowing exactly what I am going to do. I am not ‘let the piece speak to me’ type of person. This girl has a plan, and back up plans for her back up plans.  This past weekend I took a 3D mosaic class.  I did not expect this to be much different than past projects (Spoiler, I was wrong!) Enter the planning stage: I knew the 3D form was a heart, but I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with it. I love aqua blues and lime greens, I love crosses, but I always incorporate those into my projects. I must have been fretting about the design because the night before class I actually dreamt about it, which has never happened before! I woke up with a clear vision of what I was going to do! It was so gorgeous in my head; black/gray/white hombre look with 13 light blue sparkles representing my 13 babies in heaven.   Now I was ready!

I arrived at the class and it was instant wonder, and OVERLOAD. This was my first time with this instructor. I was literally a kid in a candy story. The walls were lined with every color mosaic imaginable, every shape, and every size. It was mosaic heaven! (Who knew there was such a thing?) Even with every color known to man… Guess what mamas; I still stuck with my original dark hombre plan.

We were told to start at the base of the 3D heart because that needed to dry and the whole piece would be built on that foundation. Easy enough remember I had a plan!  Small black tiles lined the foundation. As I started moving upward the 3D challenges started. My original vision was not working. I had a moment of internal crisis. I didn’t know how to make the 13 sparkle/stars. Which is ironic since I had every option known to man! I also didn’t know how to get wave and movement in my piece because the lining my foundation started making my whole piece very orderly and rigid. What was I going to do?

I got up and started walking around the classroom and saw the other students creations with their vibrate colors and shapes.  They weren’t stuck! Then I looked at my black blah piece and doubted myself. I never went muted, boring, or black. This was going to be the first time I created something that I didn’t like. What a waste of $75!

Next I did something I never do. I started improvising. For a mama who always has a plan, this was uncomfortable! I needed a new blue focal point. I found the perfect color ice baby blue tiles and I started playing with shapes and designs. I couldn’t create anything I liked. I tried to make them look like angel wings, then flowers, it just was not coming together. Again, dread filled me.

Next I resorted to my tried and true ‘roots’ and made a cross out of 13 blue sparkle tiles.  This was my safety and I was a little disappointed that I succumbed. The result of having a focal point of my piece was my project starting coming together. I still did the hombre but instead of layering it like a rainbow, I did a ripple from the center out hombre; like a stone in a pond. Inside I still felt like I cop out for ‘settling’. I finished my heart, took a photo, and left class feeling a little defeated.  

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Mamas, some of us are cross makers.

Some of us are black and white in a sea of colors.

Some of us are vibrant.

Some of us are muted. 

Some of us our planners.

Some of us are spontaneous.

DON’T WALK AROUND THE MOSAIC CLASS OF LIFE COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS.

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Later that night, I pulled out the photo and I saw my piece with fresh eyes. I fell in love instantly. Once I was away from that candy store, overload mosaic environment and in the quiet of my home – the piece transformed before my eyes.

The next week I was back at the artists house to grout and take home my masterpiece. As I walked home with my finished creation, I had a God epiphany. I realized that the story of MY blog is in the 3D creation. My ice baby blue cross is breaking out of the darkness of grief and shining light all around it.  This is exactly what I hope this blog does for my hurting mamas.

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”   Psalms 56:8