I picked wrong! If only I knew what I know now, I would be a kindergarten teacher. (I am guessing some of my mama teachers, might disagree with my choice of dream job)

I have struggled with my unhappy feelings toward my profession for over a decade now. It feels like a manic relationship with highs and lows.  I love my job or I hate my job. I have a good day in a sea of bad days. I recently realized this is because I have bought into ‘happiness lie’. This generation’s motto: you are born to be happy, live your passion. This motto is permeating into all facets of our society. It sure sounds like a positive message, right? But what happens when you can’t achieve this motto…. You know…. because you live in the real world?

Consider King David: Did you know, the prophet Samuel anointed David as king when he was a teenager? But David was 30 years old when he became the King of Israel. What took this lowly shepherd boy so long to take the throne? What was he doing in between? You may recall, David killed the giant Goliath with his slingshot in his late teens.  After his heroism with Goliath, David spent the next 10+ years on the run, hiding from the actual King Saul. Saul was not very keen on giving up his kingship.  During his waiting time, on the run, was David living his passion? Was he happy?

Soon the wait was over, and David finally becomes king. Are the next 40 years of David’s life full of rainbows and unicorns?  Spoiler alert, NO! Even as king, David had self made struggles. At the height of his success, David found himself committing adultery. Worse yet, to cover his sin, he sent ‘the husband’ off to war to die. David had a baby from this affair, and sadly that baby died.  During his time of power and prestige, was David living his passion? Was he happy?

Throughout his lifetime, David had to mourn the death of not one, not two, but three sons. Was David living his passion?  Was he happy?

What was David’s secret weapon through the highs and lows of his life? What was David’s motto? The answer is very simple. Below is one of the most famous and recognizable Psalms. Its author, King David:

Psalm 23  (NLT)

The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I needHe lets me rest in green meadows;

He leads me beside peaceful streams.

He renews my strength

He guides me along right paths,

Bringing honor to His name

Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid

For you are close beside me.

Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me

You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies

You honor me by anointing my head with oil

My cup overflows with blessings.

Surely goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life,

and I will lie in the house of the Lord forever.

David wasn’t a perfect man, nor did he live a perfect life. But David was a man after God’s own heart. God said: “I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to.” Acts 13:22. Is there a higher compliment to bestow on any human? David’s happiness and passion were irrelevant, because he was living his PURPOSE in life.

Mamas, are you happy? Why?  Why not? The first step is to dissect your ‘WHY’; peel it back like an onion, (and maybe be ready for some tears)!

At first, I did not realize my happiness struggles at work were tied to my infertility journey. When I lost my 13 little angels, it wasn’t just the death of my babies I was mourning. I was mourning the death of my entire future. Without consciously realizing it, I was mourning the death of my ‘stay at home mom’ option. I was now ‘forced’ to work. Pre-IVF, if I had a bad day at work, I just had to remind myself of my future; it won’t always be like this. Post-IVF I am left lamenting; it wasn’t supposed to be this way! 

Mamas, our loss does not negate our purpose in life.  Our loss defines our purpose. David knew this. God knows this. From David’s lineage came Jesus. From Jesus came salvation for the world.  There is purpose in the pain.

So how do we defeat the ‘happiness lie’? We need to find our way to be happy within our realm of control.  Mamas, this has taken me a very long time to implement in my own life.  Lets take my dream job of kindergarten teacher. It is not realistic for me personally to quit my job, get my Masters in Education, and do a 180-career shift at this stage in my life… But what is within my realm of control? What can I do to fulfill this ‘passion’? Can you think of any solutions? Don’t worry; I was stumped for a while too. One day it hit me: what is stopping me from volunteering in a kindergarten classroom on my lunch break? The answer…. Nothing!

Now it’s your turn; Mamas what’s your happiness solution?

Remember mamas; happiness is not proof you are living your purpose.  When you are planted in a hard place, in hard ground, find a way to stir in some happiness! Lets dig in together, get our hands dirty and find our happiness solution. Don’t give up!

Just. Do. Something.