Costco is my favorite store. I love everything about this place! It satisfies my “live like a starving college student, even though it was two decades ago” frugal side. Even entering Costco is easy since their membership card doubles as their credit card.  How convenient! I can’t help but wonder if this dual convenience also makes for disproportionately higher rates of misplaced credit cards inside the store?  How many shoppers actually put the credit card back in the proper spot for safekeeping when you are just going to need it again for check out?

We fell victim to credit card misplacement several months ago.  Like all the other Costco victims, it happened somewhere from point of entry to check out. That narrows down the search field, right? When reported to the front desk, the supervisor’s reaction surprised me. He said it happens all the time, and shoppers always find and return cards. The supervisor’s confidence was so high; he even said not to bother reporting the credit card stolen. The only thing left to do was go home and wait for the call. 

Mamas, what is so special about Costco shoppers? Hours later, we received the phone call. Just as the supervisor had confidently predicted, our credit card had been found and returned.  The supervisor knew this outcome because he knew his shoppers. He had confidence in his community. 

Mamas, who makes up your community: family, church, employer? More importantly, what do people say about your community? Do you have the same confidence in your community as this Costco supervisor has in his?

My community is small, and extremely unpopular.  It is a community no one wants to join, and it’s a lifetime membership. This community becomes a part of your identity. Where the price of entry is grief and membership fees are paid in tears.  Mine is a community of mamas who have experienced the heartbreak of baby loss.

The worst thing about my community is the languishing trap. Every grief stricken mama dances with this trap, it entices so many! This trap is highly contagious. Its alluring surrender scent wafts through the air, but its side effects are dangerous they include: withdrawal, envy, and self-pity. Plug your nose mamas!

This languishing trap is hardest to resist when mamas are first processing their baby loss.  Like a moth to a flame, this trap knows when a mama is most vulnerable. In her weakened grief state, surrender can feel like the only choice. Steer clear mamas!

My ultimate power against the languishing trap came when I realized this:

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With my earthly loss, I gained my heavenly audience. My 13 little angels are watching me from Heaven.

I am now living with purpose and heavenly witnesses. This makes me want to make my life, and theirs, matter.

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Mamas, please don’t languish your life away.  On the days you want to surrender to the withdrawal, envy and self-pity, please lift your head heavenward, close your eyes, and imagine your heavenly audience cheering you on.

Most importantly mamas, remember your membership in this community is not a punishment; it is your platform! Live a purpose driven life.  Be the example other hurting mamas need.  Connect with your community and share a shoulder to cry on. We are stronger together mamas.