I had to leave my desk so I wouldn’t start drafting my letter of resignation. A walk around the park was exactly what I needed to put temporary separation between me and the taskmaster on the other end of my computer.

The taskmaster had just assigned a huge bonus project to me. This was above and beyond my normal crippling workload.  I was most annoyed at his delivery, or lack thereof! This extra assignment was quietly dumped in my inventory; a ‘treat’ I was left to discover on my own.  There was no courtesy heads up, no pre-emptive sorry or acknowledgement from this taskmaster. His intentional silence was the spark that fueled the fire now burning up my desk.

I left the house in a huff. I completed my first lap around the park and was nearing the halfway marker. My face still contorted with frustration. That is when I saw a familiar face ahead. God had just dropped an angel in my path.  My frustration dissipated with a much-needed smile and a hug from a friend.

After this divine park meeting, my cup was filled once again. I finished my final park loop and headed home. Acceptance of my bonus project dump was now circling me. In that moment of clarity I had my God whisper.  

Mamas, I had been so focused on the HOW this project was dumped on me, instead of WHY.  I failed to read between the lines.  Bottom line, this project had to be done. Like it or not, my selection was a compliment.  The taskmaster had to choose the employee he trusted the most for this bonus record breaking project. UN-Fortunately, that trusted employee was me. 

Much like work, grief can feel like a cruel and silent taskmaster.  Mamas, we have to face our baby grief. We will walk this baby loss path for the rest of our lives. There will be good days and hard days. Just when we feel we have mastered our grief, the path ahead forks and we are suddenly thrust in a different direction, a whole new path. Grief is a vicious cycle of emotions, and crisscrossing paths.  There are bumps and bruises, falls and twisted ankles ahead, but there are smoother paths coming. Just keep walking mamas.

“Everybody falls sometimes

Gotta find the strength to rise

From the ashes

And make a new beginning

Anyone can feel the ache

You think it’s more than you can take

But you’re stronger

Stronger than you know

(Pre-Chorus)

Don’t you give up now

The sun will soon be shining

You gotta face the clouds

To find the silver lining.

(Chorus)

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains

Hope that doesn’t ever end

Even with the sky is falling

I’ve seen miracles just happen

Silent prayers get answered

Broken hearts become brand new

That’s what faith can do.”

What Faith Can Do   – Kutless

Take heart mamas. There will be days you want to stop walking. When you feel like drafting a letter of resignation, ask yourself:  “Am I reading between the lines? “

Keep the faith mamas. You are “stronger than you know.”