As I age I have developed a ‘normal’ dislike for heights, an ‘unusual’ fear of bathroom door locks; BUT perhaps weirdest of all is my unexplained phobia of circular, tomblike stairs. What did these stairs ever do to me? The ‘good’ news is traveling presents me with many opportunities for exposure therapy to all of the above.

Lately, I have had to combat my tomblike stair phobia head on with each vacation. It is not a question of when, but rather how many times me and my phobia will meet.  These tomblike circular stairs seem most popular at tourist monuments. Thankfully, the evolution of technology has given me a secret weapon.  With a quick Internet search I can know in advance if the tourist site we are visiting has my ‘favorite’ stairs. I can even find out the exact number of steps to climb! Thank you Internet.   Another bonus, the long lines with these attractions, allow me ample time to ruminate over my upcoming exposure therapy ‘opportunity’. However, I must be careful how much rumination I allow because nervousness tends to fill my bladder, and that creates a whole new issue!

Most recently, I was faced with another stair ‘opportunity’ in Paris, (Actually twice, but I will save the second time for another piece) Hubby and I were headed to the 164-foot L’Arc De Triumph. I knew of the circular, tomb like stairs in advance. (Thank you Internet).  So naturally I waited in line contemplating my impending 284-stair climbing journey to the top. What I didn’t realize was once you cleared the outdoor security station, you take a step inside L’Arc, and your stair ascent starts IMMEDIATELY. No dilly-dallying allowed, rip that phobia Band-Aid off mamas and lets get to it.

I made the mistake of not starting the stair count right away. I knew there were 284 steps, but that doesn’t help me much unless I start counting at the beginning.  So I regressed to what I always do; I put my hand in my hubby’s waste band and focused on his backside the whole way up.  

To my welcome surprise, this was a fast climb to the top.  What an amazing reward. The panoramic views from the top were breathtaking! I highly recommend this attraction!

So you may be wondering why I share these unusual traveling phobias with you? If for nothing else, may it simply encourage you that you aren’t as weird as me. But also to illustrate this mamas: life is full of fears.  

To my mamas touched by baby loss,

the heartache we feel,  

is our worst fears come true.

We can’t let grief or fear deter us from experiencing the amazing opportunities that await us.  Does your grief feel like a period at the end of the sentence? Mamas, staying cocooned in fear may feel safe, but it robs you of the sense of accomplishment and pride when you push through your phobia, fear, and heartbreak.

Think of it this way mamas:

Letting your fears win, is limiting your life, your impact, and your calling.

Mamas, are you ready to climb some stairs with me? 

One, two, three … Let’s go!