Infertility robbed me of many things. But, it was its lack of control that had the most lasting impact on me.  My infertility journey was the one time in my life that I could not study, achieve, or work my way through a problem.

Infertility didn’t care that I already had endured a hard childhood; being raised in a fractured home with a mostly estranged father. Nope, my childhood obstacles did not spare me. I still managed to be an honors student, work my way through college, earn a bachelors degree, marry my prince, and have a successful career. (Thank you American dream).  However, all of my accomplishments and successes seemed useless in my battle with infertility.  

Infertility simply did not care.

Mamas, I think it is only natural, when we feel stripped of all choice, to want to self-protect and control everything. For me, I never wanted feel that helpless again.  To this day, I plan for everything. There is always a contingency plan swirling around in my head. It doesn’t even have to be a real problem; I have contingencies for my imaginary problems too. I even have contingencies for my contingencies.

I still haven’t learned that I can’t plan myself out of heartache or trials.

There simply isn’t enough bubble wrap in the world to protect us from living life.

Throughout the messy moments of life, I have always had my faith to lean on.  There is so much comfort in knowing that each of our lives has purpose. Mamas, we can choose to grow better or bitter through our infertility struggle.  How do you want to grow?

“For you, know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.”

NLT James 1: 3-4

We always have choices. Sometimes they are hidden well, and many of us can miss them. So let me help you. Mamas, are you going to passively endure infertility or actively develop endurance through infertility?