I have a technology confession to make mamas. It seems most appropriate to share this confession today, since I have just celebrated my 100^th post. 

Context is very important, so let me start there. My whole childhood, and professional life I have been a PC girl. I know Microsoft and most of the shortcuts. I am a fast typist and navigate Word fairly well. But our home computer is a Mac, so for all my online writing that is what I must use.

Okay, disclaimer is over, and here comes my confession … Through the last three years and 100 posts, I never knew where the ‘undo’ button was.  Since I am a fast and fairly wild typist; I have accidentally deleted large chunks of text, more times than I can count. Without knowing where the ‘undo’ button is, you can imagine the retyping frustrations.

You may be thinking, “Why didn’t you figure out where the undo button is in the last THREE years?” That is a fair question. My only excuse is I usually write when I am alone, so my tech support hubby is not around to provide instant answers to my questions.

Now for the follow up question that I know you are going to ask… I have to plead laziness. Finding the answer myself or going online to figure out is not a priority in my early morning writing sessions. So I just make do. I figure I can retype what I delete faster than finding the answer.  Flawed logic, I know!

Recently, while working on a piece I accidentally deleted an entire paragraph. This time, hubby happened to be downstairs so I finally had the golden opportunity and motivation to ask. ‘Where is the ‘undo’ button?”  He showed me the beautiful back arrow on the top ribbon. This button could not have been more obvious Mamas!

The next question that begs to be asked:

WHY is my default to settle, to ignore, to make do?

I suppose it started in childhood, I had a big case of middle child syndrome. I grew up in an 1100 square foot house with four kids.  Brothers and sisters each sharing bedrooms, and one single bathroom, we had a perfect storm of conflict and lots of practice settling, ignoring, making do. 

My middle child syndrome then transferred into my professional sphere. Mamas, I work a high conflict, contentious job.  Everyday I am settling, and I am convincing others to settle. I have to find ways to compromise on everything. I have to make unpopular decisions, and share unpopular decisions. These daily settling acts bleed into all areas of my life.

I get comfortable and I settle, I ignore, and I make do.

For the most part, I live a more harmonious life as a ‘settle-er’.  When I can’t press the undo button, I have to think more critically and act more cautiously. I have to analyze potential outcomes and consequences more thoroughly. Living without an undo button has trained me to be cautious.

But mamas, as I age and become wiser, I am learning life is about balance. Sometimes I need to throw caution to the wind. I need to purposefully add some impulsiveness into my world.  (YES, I see the irony of this cautious girl trying to plan impulsiveness).  

As you can tell, I am still figuring out my balance. But I am determined to not spend the next three years settling, ignoring, or making do. (Maybe just three-quarters or half the time?)

Mamas, we can’t settle, and ignore our life away. Eventually we all have to find our undo button. Do you know where yours is?  Please don’t wait three years to ask.