As a newbie just starting out in my career, I distinctly remember reading one of my co-workers retirement announcements.  His son wrote a tribute talking about how his dad did not enjoy what he did, but nonetheless got up and went to work every day for the sake of his family.  I remember being shocked by this revelation and then feeling sad inside.  I had no idea my co-worker did not like his job. He was so talented, never complained, and obviously hid his feelings very well. As a newbie, just embarking on my career path, this tribute impacted me deeply. I never wanted something like that read at my retirement. 

Despite trying to safeguard myself from that very fate, I am now living it.

I don’t like what I do. I don’t get up every morning excited to go to work.  I even tried to escape my profession once when the first company I worked for moved my job out of state.  I was provided a severance package. I decided then and there I would reinvent myself. My professional luggage all packed, I went into a completely new field with my paycheck slashed in half. I thought I could change the world in my new social service role, but the only thing that changed was that my hope in humanity went on life support. I had to pull the plug. My attempt to reinvent myself felt like a catastrophic failure.  I sprinted back to the comfort and security of what I knew.

I have been beating myself up for years; likening myself to a professional coward. Maybe you will agree? But what if bravery actually means staying put? What if, like retired co-worker, bravery simply means showing up and muscling through your workday? If so I have nailed it!

Truth be told mamas, I have to wonder if there is one job that would satisfy me?  Full time career woman was never my desired goal; but my life goals had to pivot when my baby dreams were crushed. After all, it’s hard to be a stay at home mom, when you don’t have a baby. Though, I have proposed this idea to hubby on multiple occasions. Perhaps one day, he will take me up on my offer.

My take away for all of this: I have decided how I want my retirement announcement to read: 

“Jackie, a woman so full of faith, she devoted everyday to helping lost and hurting people.”

I can do that daily professionally and personally regardless of my job title.  Mamas, how do you want your retirement announcement to read?