Did you know that 30% of the world drives on left side of the road?  The country of Ireland is included in that statistic. There were a couple cultural differences to adjust to during our Ireland vacation, but driving on the ‘wrong side of the road’ was by far the most prevalent and comical. I can’t count the number of times when returning to the car, hubby and I would head to the ‘normal’ side of the car, and both realize at exact the same time it was the wrong side, and have to switch sides.

Navigating Ireland on foot also has very important cautions. Like crosswalks you have to LOOK RIGHT for cars. If you look left only and step off the curb, you are going to get squished! In fact there are painted signs on the asphalt at the start of all crosswalks to remind tourists.

For my own personal safety while walking and driving in Ireland, I just looked for any approaching car from all directions. It was too much mental effort to keep track of looking left or right and which was correct.  It hurt my brain.

I can’t help but see the ‘minority’ parallels between driving on the left side of the road and mamas that travel the IVF journey. As a mama who has all her babies in Heaven, I live my life in the minority. I am set apart, whether I want to be or not.

My minority status remains true no matter the country I visit.

Perhaps this is why I felt so at home in Ireland. I have always used to being set apart in groups, even in childhood. You try being the kid in school that doesn’t celebrate holidays, birthdays, or eat ‘unclean’ meats. You can’t help but be conspicuous when you have to leave the classroom during a birthday party, or when you are pick the pepperoni off your pizza in the cafeteria.  I might as well have a neon arrow pointing down at me from the sky! There was nowhere to hide.

But here is where it gets interesting, looking back at my childhood, I never felt weird. It was just my normal and I adapted to my surroundings. I remember have blankets on the windows Halloween night to look like we weren’t home. Christmas mornings, our neighbor friends would call my sister and me and we would go over to their house after and play with their new toys. This was just my normal. 

But my inner acceptance didn’t just materialize. I have to credit my parents and my church for my sense of belonging.  It was their job to create my feeling of unity and inclusion, and they did an amazing job.  I knew why we didn’t celebrate the ‘normal’ holidays.  I knew the reason I was not allowed to eat pork and most seafood.  Knowing the reasons made me feel special, like I knew a secret that no one else did. I was well adapted, despite being set apart by the world’s standards.

By my senior year of high school our church doctrine had changed, and previous no’s were now yes’s. Little did I know that these early life lessons shaped and prepared me for the challenge of my life; IVF and baby loss. I would find myself once again conspicuous. The neon arrow in the sky reappeared and now follows my every move.

The silver lining mamas, I know what to do when I find myself in the minority. I will share my secret with you now: You need to accept where God has placed you and live with purpose.

There is power in being in the minority.

Don’t believe me?

Then remember Ireland, even though left side of the road driving puts them in the 30% minority of all world drivers, while in their country you best adhere to their rules OR YOU WILL GET SQUISHED.