During my most recent family visit, my sister asked me a question that I did not know the answer to.

“When did your husband know that you were ‘the one’?”

I still remember the exact moment I laid eyes on my husband. He was getting into an elevator at a college conference we were both attending. I noticed him immediately because he was nice and tall. As a tall girl myself, I knew I had to meet this guy! Mine must have been some first impression because for the next three years…  “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” was my favorite book, and I would not date this nice and tall man. 

(I may not have known the answer to my sister’s ‘the one’ question, but I do know what my husband’s least favorite book is!)

It was later in the evening when my sister and I were having this deep conversation, so I sent a text to my husband; curious myself about his ‘When did you know?’ answer. Then I went to bed. I woke up the next morning to a text that started with these three words:

“I always knew…”

My husband is the most patient man alive. There is a right way to do something, and he will find it. He does not settle. He proved this during our three years of non-dating ‘special friends’ time. But he also proves this in the mundane day-to-day tasks of life.

Take for example car replacement. He has driven the same car for 18 years, and it was time for an upgrade. He did his research and knew exactly what car he wanted, the date range, and color preference. His superpower of patience was activated.

We were tempted to buy on our first road trip to check out this unicorn car. We had just driven 5 hours, but unfortunately the car was in rougher condition than we expected. Even with the extra bells and whistles, it didn’t offset the condition.  After contemplation, we decided it was not ‘the one’.

Fast-forward five months, we found it!!!  It was in the year and color range, but it also came with the perfect prior owner.  A meticulous retired engineer who kept it in pristine condition, doing all his own maintenance to an overboard extreme.

It may have taken 18 months, countless hours of online research, and two long road trips, but my husband knew instantly that he had found the ‘the one’! He did not settle.

Mamas, I think the number one misconception about life is that if you do things right, you are going to have a good life, an easy life, where nothing ever goes wrong. This is simply is not true.

Jesus says:

“Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows.

But take heart,

because I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33 NLT

Did you catch the word MANY trials and sorrows mama?

Finding my-perfect–for-me husband, did not spare me the grief of losing 13 babies, and a childless future. Throughout my baby loss journey he has been my rock. The one that comforted me when tears just started pouring out of nowhere, even if it was at a restaurant in the middle of a date. Each time, he knew just what to do.  We weathered the grief storm together; just the two of us. Now we live each day, just the two of us.

The choices you make NOW follow you into the future trials and sorrows you don’t get to choose.  So…..

When life gives you a choice, choose wisely mamas.

DON’T SETTLE.

Wait for ‘the one’.