Our last international adventure, unlike any vacation prior, I found myself in a sea of new languages.  Like I was transported back in time just after Nimrod’s Tower of Babel workers were dispersed; right at the moment God confused the languages.  

Everyone’s second language was English throughout my eastern European vacation, but their native tongues were too numerous to count.  What a beautiful symphony of confusion. Most times, I could not even decipher the country of origin either by look or tongue.

While touring Buda Castle grounds, I saw a group of older lady tourists coming toward me. The leader pointed down at the curb and said “Be-Dah-Gee’.  No idea what language, but this was the easiest word to translate given my amazing powers of deduction! She was obviously warning those behind her about the curb they were approaching.  

Regardless of how obvious this was, it did not deter me from letting hubby know I had learned a new word.  But did I really?  Does it count if you don’t actually know what language the word is in? I turned back to my husband while simultaneously walking and talking; a skill I have semi mastered for four decades. I even remembered not to trip on the curb that was just pointed out moments earlier by my new Babel friend.  It was at this point that my peripheral ninja skills sensed danger!!! Everything registered very quickly and I barely avoided crashing head on collision with a light pole.

Trust me, I see the irony of bragging to my husband about learning a new ‘caution’ word, ALL the while almost being knocked out myself by a light pole!

Isn’t this just like life mamas;

you safely maneuver around a curb only to blindsided by a light pole?!?

My Tower of Babel experience came full circle at our final country stop in Vienna Austria.  While touring a museum, I accidentally stumbled across the famous Tower of Babel painting!!! 

If you know anything about Vienna, you know they have an abundance of museums, dare I say TOO MANY. We just happened to choose the one museum and then found the famous 1563 ‘The Tower of Babel’ painting in a sea of thousands! God has a sense of humor mamas!

Mamas, while in the throes of grief it can feel like you are the only one that understands your grief language.  The thoughts you are thinking, the feelings you are experiencing, the tears you are crying, it can feel like you are isolated on an island without anyone who understands.

I HAVE BEEN THERE.

After my own baby loss, I searched high and low for a mama that knew what it was like go through in-vitro and lose all her babies and then live a life childless this side of heaven.  Somehow I thought knowing a mama that experienced my exact situation would make it better. I know mamas that have gone through in-vitro, mamas that bravely did multiple cycles. I know mamas that completed their families with adoption.  But I never have found a mama fluent in my exact grief language.  

It is important to not to rank our grief through comparison. No mama is higher on the tragedy scale; baby loss carries enough sadness for all.

Post loss, I knew early on that I wanted to be an ally and voice of understanding for other mamas. I wanted to be what I could not find. Whether my mamas reading this can decipher every word of my grief language because they have lived every word, or perhaps mamas hear  ‘Be-Dah-Gee’ and can understand the feeling even if my language remains a mystery.

Mamas, you are not alone, others understand your grief language. If you can’t find your fluent friend I challenge you to BE that friend for someone.

“Friends come and go, but a true friend sticks by you like family.”

Proverbs 18:24 The Message